And so, today, I would like to tell a brief tale. It stars the delirious one himself Jim O'Toole. Fantasy Sports Manager. Consistently poor finisher. The LA Clippers of Fantasy Sports. The Legend himself.
It begins with the classic Seriously... Switzerland(?) e-mail exchange...
James: Subject: Jim - "The Compulsive Liar"
I’d like to dedicate this comic strip to Pau Gasol, Corey Maggette, Baron Davis, Hedo Turkoglu, Bonzi Wells, Sam Cassell, Max Moves settings, changing wait time for add/drops, not letting people know when drafts occur, recruiting players that don’t play and Jim’s Yahoo Fantasy Sports % rating of 53% (49% in Basketball.)
Thanks Jim!
Jim: “Compulsive Liar” is a bit harsh, but I understand where you are coming from, little man. You are still sore that you did NOT make the fantasy basketball playoffs last year (even after your “blockbuster trade”), that you were WRONG about Randy Moss being an awesome WR while in Oakland, that I changed the max moves settings based on YOUR recommendation, and you are sore that all your GARBAGE fantasy trade offers don’t go through because you usually offer more CRAP than one can find in a Honeybucket brand outhouse! I didn’t know that people who were thrilled to play would give up so soon as they had never been in our league before – so that’s as much “news” to me as it is to you. And I DID put a notice up on the league board as soon as I found out that the RANDOM draft had taken place.
I take no offense and find the article comical. You are making an effort to be funny so I commend that effort – and it’s nice that you could take time away from working on your coloring books to come across this comic, add some pseudo-funny comments along with some fiction, and try to get a laugh out of it. Fiction CAN be fun.
Job . .. . .. . done.
P.S. Matt Carroll for President (of James’s little coloring group)
Note: So begins the Sicilian Defense...
James: “Fiction CAN be fun.”
Jim – Obviously delirious… You are who the comic says you are. Proof: 49% Basketball Rating.
I’ll let the numbers speak for themselves.
Jim: Numbers do speak for themselves, you are right about that. Last year – Jim took 3rd even after losing 3 key players. James ……watched the playoffs from the BENCH.
James:
jluu111 (basketball – 4 eligible teams) = 81%
- Trophies – 2
- League Commish - 0
Jim O (basketball – 3 eligible teams) = 49%
- Trophies – 0
- League Commish - 3
Hahahaha…. What was that?
P.S. Nate, read this shit and please explain to me where this guy’s reasoning is coming from…
Jim: And just who is this Nate person? No offense to Nate, but how would he qualify to judge this? Besides, I can’t help it if you have ZERO competition in your other leagues. You DID NOT make the playoffs last year in our league so those other “trophies” where you had ZERO competition don’t worry me. And as for my percentage, that doesn’t matter either.
I am more of a pioneer than you and last year proved that. I’ll just go ahead and name the pick-ups I made that were undiscovered gems – Andris Biedrins, Al Jefferson, Deron Williams, Monte Ellis. Oh? What about that? What did you discover? That your team was NOT even good enough to make the playoffs? I think we all discovered that . . …and we didn’t need Nate to verify it.
Nice try sucka
Note: A prime example of Jim scrambling for defensive material.
James: “And as for my percentage, that doesn’t matter either.”
“I am more of a pioneer than you and last year proved that”
Jim – Obviously still delirious.
So… Jim… Who has the most trophies in basketball leagues you’ve commissioned? Me or you?
Nate has been brought into this conversation for observation purposes for the Fantasy Baseball League. He will be using this information to help build trades where you give up value for jack shit.
Thanks,
James
James: I would like to direct everyone’s attention to seriouslyswitzerland.blogspot.com for a detailed transcript of the following precedings. For posterity’s sake, I will be keeping a copy of this latest exchange for future reference.
Also, please make yourself at home at Seriously Switzerland(?)… It will be a fantastic source for information regarding all the instances of Jim’s deliriousness.
Jim: Shouldn’t you be out on a ledge somewhere? I’m just wondering when they will come for you with the straightjacket and put you in a nice, quiet, comfortable, padded room so you don’t hurt yourself.
Note: Jim is now attempting to use a non-sequitur here to try and make some kind of "logical" argument... Unfortunately for him, he does not appear to understand what a non-sequitur is.
James: Ummm no. What’s up now Biatch?!?
Jim: Uh oh. Hey Nate, you want to help out your boy here? Remember, friends don’t let friends send emails while drunk or stupid. James, just say “no”, man.
Note: Another attempt at a useless non-sequitur. Very poorly placed in the time frame of this "defense."
James: Jim – Lacking material… Still… Obviously delirious…
Jim: Let me know when you come up with an original thought (of your own) and we’ll go from there.
Adios sucka!
James: This whole string began with my thoughts and is original… Genius.
Jim: Not original at all. Sorry to break the news to you. Genius? Who, you? That is a funny, amusing thought.
Note: Apparently Jim has become a writer's critic... A funny thought.
James: It is called facetiousness dumb ass.
Jim: Well,
I have to get back to work. I can’t email all day long. I know you just have to get the last word or you won’t sleep well tonight so . …go ahead.
Talk to ya later punk.
Note: And BANG! We've hit Switzerland! Congratulations Jim on puttering out like the pansy you are... I hope you've all enjoyed the latest installment of the Seriously... Switzerland(?) blog.
James: To all who have followed this... Please take a moment to read seriouslyswitzerland.blogspot.com for a running commentary on the Legend of Jim O'Toole.
Thanks,
James
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