For the better half of the morning and until just a little after 1pm I have been feeding my addiction, also known as WOW or World of Warcraft. It’s a sickness that I am hoping to cure myself of once I get a job. However, getting a job is a bit tricky when I can’t tear myself away from slaying Orcs, Badland Buzzards and Roc Trolls. Every time I hold up my poison tipped daggers, I feel compelled to level up or complete the next quest because I know when I reach level 45, my phone is going to ring.
“Hi Jake, it’s Sara Jean Underwood.”
“Oh hi Sara Jean…How are you?”
“I am really turned on right now, that’s how I’m doing.”
“Why hello to you too. To be honest, I thought that might have been your Warlock character across the dungeon staring my level 45 rogue biceps.”
“When you tore through that undead minion’s soul, a fire inside my pants erupted and I have to have you now!”
“My address is….I am really close to Scappoose, do you want me to come over to your place? We can get a LAN game going while we umm...”
Ok, it wasn’t quite like that. It was an automated call form AT&T telling me about my new phone service, which I actually activated five months ago. Great customer service guys! But, the woman’s voice was quite sultry and I could tell she wanted me.
Lastly, if you want to see and feel what licking white dog shit is like, go to see Step Brothers. I never thought for once that moldy poo could fill one with such humor and gaiety.
With this blog I do swear that as the now appointed Jr. Writer, I will now and forever take Switzerland seriously.
2 comments:
This sounds like a blog posting on the only event that occurred in your life today which interrupted your World of Warcraft marathon. No… calling it a marathon isn’t a fair comparison, because a marathon is something that you do very intensely for 3-5 hours and then rest. You would take a break from running for a few days, and then maybe do some short jogs to find your feet. Then, maybe a couple months down the line you think about running another marathon.
What you are doing is more like the Tour De France: 25 straight days of grueling exertion. 10 hours in the saddle per day, only stopping to sleep and shit, and then the following day is filled with more of the same.
Seriously… Switzerland is not just a diversion, Jake. Everything else in your life is a diversion from Seriously… Switzerland. It is your life. Own it. Get out there and makes something happen, Jake, and then write about. You may be assigned as a hospice volunteer if action isn’t taken with the utmost urgency.
And DJ… please re-read the previous paragraph and research the distinction between “write” and “right.” A 3-5 page double spaced research paper (plus bibliography) may be appropriate for demonstrating your familiarity with the matter. You are a graduate of Linfield College. Please conduct yourself in a manner appropriate for such a fine academic institution.
5. Assuming you've become Jr. Writer without consent from the Sr. staff pretty much secures your position as Copy Boy for at least the next few posts.
4. Seriously. Just level 45? I thought you've been unemployed for months now.
3. Hitting on AT&T customer service ladies now huh?
2. WoW + Hot Chicks = Not Cool.
1. The most important flaw of your posting is... If you are going to talk about Sara Jean Underwood you have to at a very minimum post one picture of her with your posting.
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