Guys' Weekend - No Girlfriends Allowed! (The Case of the NOLAN Factor)

James here. Just thought I'd update you on this last weekend's happenings and the ensuing jack-assery that followed. As you can tell from the Title above, this weekend's activities were set to be wild and crazy, and then it was interrupted by none other than the "NOLAN Factor..."

Let me paint you the picture.

Saturday, Noon - We hit the road after a delicious $2.50 sandwich at a little bakery 2 minutes from my house. Kappa Sigma's 25th Anniversary only a few hours away...

Saturday, 1:30 pm - We arrive at McMenamin's Hotel Oregon (see: http://seriouslyswitzerland.blogspot.com/2008/01/hotel-oregon.html) and the boozing quickly ensues.

Saturday, 1:45 pm - Bo and Josh arrive at the Hotel Oregon. More drinking ensues.

Saturday, 3:00 pm - A short drive to the liquor store where the following items are procured: 1/2 Gallon each of Absolut & Crown Royal and two packs of cigarettes (which are later lost and then refound after anyone would have even considered smoking them.)

Saturday, 3:30 pm to 7 pm - Check-in at the Best Western (Why not Hotel Oregon you ask? http://seriouslyswitzerland.blogspot.com/2008/01/hotel-oregon.html) Discussion begins on whether or not to attend the 5 pm mock initiation. Boozing ensues, and 5 pm quickly becomes 7 pm... DJ, promising to buy cabs for the weekend (see: http://seriouslyswitzerland.blogspot.com/2008/01/hotel-oregon.html) calls them too late and we become stranded at the God Damn Best Western...

Saturday, 7:15 pm - I let Tim drive the Exploder to the Ball Room. DJ has now been moved into a probationary state on the Council. Tim is up for election to replace DJ's position.

Saturday, 7:30 pm - Derek Gilbert arrives with girlfriend that at least 4 other brothers have fooled around with. Derek Gilbert, obviously not having a good time, is a prime example of what happens when the girlfriend yanks on that little choke collar around your neck... This is why you don't bring the girlfriend to Guys' Weekend.

Saturday, 8:00 pm - Josh K., visibly upset by the District Grand Master for talking shit about Alumni.

Saturday, 9:00 pm - Arrive at Kappa Sigma house. Party ensues. Booze sets in. Girls come over. All hell breaks loose.

Sunday, 3:00 am - Dave walks by Theta Chi house... F*ck you Theta Chi!!! Much laughing follows...

Sunday, 3:15 am - DJ's call to a cab at 6:30 pm finally shows up at 3:15 am. I am stuck in cab with Douche Bag, Steroid filled, dis-owned fraternity scumbag. Guess who? I want to puke on him and laugh.

Sunday, 3:30 am - Muchas Gracias, Oregon Burritto. Josh Kernen orders two burrittos. Eats one.

Sunday, 4 am - Back to the God Damn Best Western. Crash.

Sunday, 10 am - Enter: NOLAN! F*cking NOLAN! For those who don't know NOLAN, let me describe this person to you this way:

N - Not Welcome
O - Overstepping Welcome
L - Locks Claws into all that is good about Guys' Weekend
A - And still not welcome
N - Not Welcome ever again

Now, keep in mind that NOLAN is a real person, and NOLAN is also a metaphor for anyone that shows up un-announced and promptly makes themselves not welcome. NOLAN. F*cking NOLAN. Now I know what you're thinking... What does a NOLAN look like... So, here you go...

So, what it is you ask that this has anything to do with Switzerland... Let's just say that a certain phone call received around 7 pm on Friday conveying NOLAN intercept instructions was taken by one Jake Rossman (See: above in picture. He is between the Red, Yellow, Pink flowers. Just in front of the fountain that looks like it is shooting out of his head.) None of this was conveyed to any of the council members present at the event and all of this information was purposefully held out of reach of the participants of Guys' Weekend in an effort to avoid any pot-stirring. If that doesn't sound like Switzerland, then you must obviously be DJ!

James

P.S. Coming in the next few days will be our newest pot-stirrer. Stayed tuned to Seriously... Switzerland(?) to find out who this might be!